The right support for bereaved indivuduals with autism
Dennis: Grief is different, it's never the same. The grief I experienced when my friend died was one type of grief. The grief I felt when my grandmother passed away was a different kind. So, it varies, and one also reacts differently from episode to episode. It's about somehow tailoring the right options that suit me, in terms of the help I need. It's about customizing the appropriate assistance for an individual, rather than a one-size-fits-all approach.
The proper understanding of autism among professionals
Dennis: In general, when teaching individuals with disabilities, including those with special needs, it's crucial to have the proper education and expertise. It's important to possess the professional knowledge. Finding psychologists with experience in autism is challenging - some do have that experience, but they come at a high cost.
Reflextions on how grief affects individuals with autism and creating more knowledge about it
Dennis: Understanding how grief affects individuals with autism compared to those without autism is challenging because society lacks sufficient knowledge about it. I know that there are professors in the US, Norway, and Sweden who have been researching autism for years and have published journals on the topic. I also know that there are numerous conferences on autism, and I think it could be relevant to initiate discussions about grief and autism, inviting other experts to contribute. I know how it affects me, but I'm sure there are experts who understand what it takes, I believe.
Do you feel that knowledge about grief among bereaved individuals with autism should be more widespread?
Dennis: Yes, but in the general population as well. It's not something we talk about on a daily basis. We try to keep it at a distance. We prefer not to discuss death because we are living our lives well - can't we just live our lives? But it eventually comes to us. Life is temporary, as they say.
Preparing for future deaths
Dennis: I think it's essential to prepare mentally and psychologically before my grandfather passes away. But also physically, so that one is ready to face it. To be prepared to face it, so that one can be ready. It's like giving a presentation; it's crucial to prepare. It's crucial to be prepared because being extra prepared, I'm sure, makes one stronger to withstand it rather than being fragile. It's also about preventing certain things. It's a good idea to already start acquainting oneself with grief, hearing people talk about their grief and how they have coped with it. Participating in café evenings organized by grief associations, learning techniques, reading material, and listening to what others share. Begin joining grief communities because at some point, it will be my turn. We all have to go through it. No one can say how many times we will experience loss, but we will - it's part of life.
Can one ever be prepared for loss?
Dennis: No, one can't. I just think it's crucial to talk about it because we don't talk much about grief. We don't discuss losing someone - not really.
Do you have any advice or thoughts you would like to share with other bereaved individuals with autism?
Dennis: It's okay to wonder about it, and it's okay to ask questions - ask questions to yourself. Is it really how it is, and why? Go down to the cemetery - I know it's easier said than done. It takes me longer to adapt because of my autism, meaning to cognitively reorient my brain. It takes more time. For some people, it may take longer to adapt to other things. For example, if your meeting gets canceled or the appointment changes - you also need to adjust to that, so you need your adaptability - it's also what helps determine how you deal with grief. The imagination of autistic individuals is not very good. The ability to imagine things that haven't happened yet. That's not possible.